And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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