It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
