why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
