she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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