Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
