It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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