she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
