my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so let's talk penis.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
