I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
