Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
