i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Drunk is a universal language darling
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
