you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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