I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jไger and an empty bed here Friday.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
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