she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
