He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
