With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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