how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
