I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
