ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
