Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
