I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
