i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
