Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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