so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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