i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
