i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
