She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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