so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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