Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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