i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
that is very illegal...i love you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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