Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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