Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
