oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize