Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
