im about as happy as oj after his trial
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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