She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
