What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
