Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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