Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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