The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
