and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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