I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
