Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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