Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
