I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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