woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
