If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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