drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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