so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize