A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
