i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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