This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
