Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize