What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
