Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
