why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
