well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
