I need help removing her.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
