If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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