So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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