I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
