1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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