like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize