i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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